Life Gems with Denise Lopez: Moments of tranquility matter

Moments of tranquility matter

When life overwhelms me the ways I practice self care is by taking a drive to clear my mind, taking MYSELF on a date by treating myself to my favorite restaurant ,scheduling a spa appointment and whenever I am able to, treating myself to a weekend away from my normal routine. I also practice self care by being selective on who I spend my time with and what I spend my time doing. Most times, I sit alone and play Christian music or piano instrumentals and give my self a moment to process what I'm feeling, then allow myself to get past it and dwell no more.


-Denise

Life Gems with Ashley Peek: Love's journey starts with self

Love's journey starts with self

The biggest thing that I have learned about self-love is that it's never too late to truly find out who you are as a person. As we grow we change and are constantly learning what we like what we don't like. What we would accept and what we won't accept. In my journey to self love which I am constantly traveling, I am learning to just accept me for me. Accepting my flaws and understanding that I am not going to be perfect in everyone eyes and nor should I want to be. It's not up to society to determine what makes me happy and what adds value to my life. Its my choice and that is something that I had to learn over time.

-Ashley

Life Gems with Jessica Jenkins: Be Authentic

Be Authentic



I practice self care by spending time in silence and time alone. In my time of silence I usually turn everything off, even my phone, and just lay in my room and practice breathing. I usually light a candle or burn incense and take control over my breathe, as you would in practicing something like yoga. It gives me peace and a sense of self control. And my time alone can be spent reading, writing, or doing yoga. But I do it by myself and enjoy my own company. I have been practicing these things more and more lately. They help me to stay calm and at peace. I usual find the time to do one of these things twice weekly. And make time for 30-45 minutes or long during the weekend.

The advice I would give the younger me would be this: if they don’t like the authentic you baby girl they aren’t for you. Being a people pleaser I always put myself last and attempted to appease others and for their standards of what they wanted me to be. It’s taken years to really come into my own and truly love who I am as a person. You can’t please everyone but pleasing yourself makes life that much better.

- Jess

Love Odyssey

There was a time I envied those free spirited women who effortlessly wore themselves with love and pride. I was never like that and I wondered if I'd ever be like that.
I prayed that someday I'd achieved that level of confidence and grace but it never dawn on me that those women probably fought the worst mental battles.
Cried endless streams of self consciousness.
Kicked themselves over and over for believing in doubt and screamed until the lining of their throats became raw.
We never know what a person goes through just to arrive, yet and still we covet.
I admire these women with their honey like testimonies.
Full of substance, Raw truths and preserved flavors for the soul.
I admire those women who found victory in being vulnerable.
I admire the love of self that came by way of self hate...or...maybe not hate but surly a type of neglect
You remember those women.
You remember their stories and how they resonated and ignited an inspiration through you by way of expression.
I get it now.
You smile different when you smile in honesty.
Happy girls have glow, they say
And you're a liar if you never wanted to shine.
For years, my fear of freedom kept me running from destiny and finding security amongst the spectators and others too afraid to embrace who they are.
Funny thing about that is now I hate crowds.
I have a lot of letting go to do so Gods will can bloom throughout my life
I'm no where near the woman dreamt of as a little girl, who wears the opinions of others like loose garments
But I'm also no longer afraid to be seen

Queen Bey, Body Acceptance and Breaking these Generational Curses

Can I just talk about how Queen Mother, Beyoncé that is, has been giving me life this year. From her classic performance at Coachella, The Carter's album and now her latest interview in the September issue of Vogue Magazine. She's just all around phenomenal. I mean, I don't really like to "stan" for celebrities because after all, they are mere humans just like the rest of us but not for nothing, Bey has been making me so proud to be a black woman.

We don't have to recap on Coachella. Mutha shut it down and if you ain't know please google her performance. Just her entrance alone was iconic.

The Carters album is a constant bop for me. From the pride for our culture in Black Effect, forgiveness and redemption in Love Happy (my favorite), The sultry seductive vibes in Summer to the cloth talk on Boss. Her beautiful, sultry range and Jay's lyrical storytelling keeps them in heavy rotation on my playlist.

And now, Beyoncé's feature in Vogue makes me love her so much more. Let me just say this before I begin, she didn't say anything different than what we normally hear about body acceptance and self love but what I appreciate about Beyoncé is that ever since her album Lemonade, she has been very open with us (especially more than she needs to be) about her family and self esteem struggles as a result of infidelity in her marriage and past traumas. During her interview, the theme of honesty is the same but the tone is different. Obviously, she's in a better space. Her marriage is in a healing place, their family is growing with the edition of the twins, Rumi and Sir and they're currently on their world tour OTR II.
While life right now is great, Bey shared her pregnancy struggles with toxemia while pregnant with the twins which lead her to have an emergency C-section. She talked about accepting the changes that her body has undergone and even her contentment with her FUPA for the time being. For those who do not know what a fupa is, that is the fat located in the lower abdomen also known as the fat upper pu**y area. I can't really identify with fupa love right now because mine wont let me be great LOL but I'm working on her for a more healthier,happier me. She talked about intentionally giving herself self-love and care during her recovery helping her to accept her new curves. Seriously though, you know I promote self adoration so I loved her transparency.

She also spoke on opening doors for talent that follows her like the photographer that she chose for the Vogue shoot, 23 year old Tyler Mitchell. The first African American to shoot for the cover of Vogue ever. Yaaaasssssssss!

Tyler Mitchell

My favorite part of the article is when she talked about her family history. I was moved to tears when she said her lineage was one of "broken relationships and mistrust". I almost shouted right there.  When she said " I pray that I am able to break generational curses in my family and that my children will have less complicated lives." I felt that on a spiritual level. While she was referring to the disconnect in respect, honesty and communication between man and woman in her genealogy, this reminded me of my generational hardships that not only plague me but my parents, brother and extended family as well. Recently, the patterns that have been a direct effect of negative habits, mental and emotionally abuse that has intertwined itself within the history of my family, is something that I'm no longer willing to accept. I'm not a doctor so I'm not qualified to "fix" anybody EXCEPT my own thoughts and actions. That's was my problem. I always wanted to mend what was wrong by overcompensating for what I thought love and family should be vs. what I actually experienced but no one can heal in toxicity and delusion. Traits that I WILL NOT pass down to my babies either.


Visit www.Vogue.com to read Beyoncé in Her Own Words: Her Life, Her Body, Her Heritage

"I’m in a place of gratitude right now.

I am accepting of who I am. I will continue to explore every inch of my soul and every part of my artistry.

I want to learn more, teach more, and live in full.

I’ve worked long and hard to be able to get to a place where I can choose to surround myself with what fulfills and inspires me."