Life Gems with Renee Slocum

Life Gems with Renee Slocum

What life experience has taught you the importance of loving yourself?

A lot of people have come into my life to supposedly do me good but have actually done me more harm. These people were supposed to take care of me, help me, KEEP me away from hurt harm and danger but instead they've been the ones to inflict it or put me in position to be inflicted. Because of it I've had my guard up ALL MY LIFE! Making it hard for people who really want to do me good. I've learned it's important to love and look out for me above anyone else because there are people who just don’t care about me the way I care about me. For the majority of my childhood, I have been a people pleaser and got hurt the whole time. It’s important to love on yourself to give people insight of how to love you.

How do you practice self-care? 

Taking the time usually on weekends to do WHATEVER it is I want to do. My week mainly revolves around my son and work. The weekend is my time to unwind! Sometimes I read; something I used to love to do and had lots of time to do but that has gotten away from me. Also I study my bible, in depth with my notebook pen and highlighters! Other things are just some self-pampering: mani-pedi. And lastly some adult time! Many moms I’m sure can attest to ADULT time being crucial to self-care because sometimes these little people we birth can drive you NUTS! Lol. I love my son immensely but when the opportunity presents itself, I take it! 

Knowing all that you know now about life, what advice would you give your younger self?

Take care of yourself first. Don't be a people pleaser people will use you and then leave you as soon as they have no more use for you. Respect and love yourself first. You teach people how to treat you and love you by the way you treat and love yourself. It is okay to say no if people walk away because they couldn't get something from you that they wanted or couldn't use you in the way that they wanted to, let them walk away. Always know your worth do not settle for anyone who treats you as though you are less than what you are. You will avoid a lot of hurt and pain staying true to your morals and goals knowing your own worth not being a people-pleaser and never settling for less. Don't be discouraged so easily, keep trying until that goal you said is met no matter how long it takes. Keep God at the center of all things and you will be victorious!

Life Gems with Ashley Peek: Love's journey starts with self

Love's journey starts with self

The biggest thing that I have learned about self-love is that it's never too late to truly find out who you are as a person. As we grow we change and are constantly learning what we like what we don't like. What we would accept and what we won't accept. In my journey to self love which I am constantly traveling, I am learning to just accept me for me. Accepting my flaws and understanding that I am not going to be perfect in everyone eyes and nor should I want to be. It's not up to society to determine what makes me happy and what adds value to my life. Its my choice and that is something that I had to learn over time.

-Ashley

Life Gems With Jade Slater: Bloom from Within

Bloom from Within

Self-care is a daily routine of what makes you feel good. It can be anything from sleeping in after a long week, talking nicely to yourself , researching ways to take care of your mental health and separating from toxic environments (people ,activities, or behaviors). For me, it's so much more than exterior things; not to say they don't count because they do very much but in this moment my foundation is to start inside spiritually and mentally and then work my way out by eating better taking a walk, breathing, not dwelling on my problems but my solutions, retraining my brain to think positive and talking nice to myself.
The biggest lesson I've learned about self-love is that in order to truly love yourself you have to first forgive yourself for all the dark things that you may have done to yourself or those around you. Find ways to acknowledge your wrongs and when you do you'll will be able to forgive yourself and others and then truly love yourself. Love is liberating. It is freeing. It will never keep you hostage or bind you up. When you have self love you will be able to find your peace and that is the most refreshing space to find.




-Jade

Life Gems featuring Carmella Carter

Life Gems with Carmella Carter

What life experience has taught you the importance of loving yourself? One life experience that has taught me the importance of loving myself is being single again after a divorce.  I learned to love me when all I had was me and God. I had family and friends that were supportive but there is nothing like walking a journey feeling along when people are present.  It was a difficult time but looking back it was the best ever.

How do you practice self-care? Praying and setting time for daily devotion to God, journaling, reading self-help books, listening to podcast of people and that are thriving in the area I want to thrive in, clearance shopping, long hot baths or showers, dating myself even though I am married and daily affirmations. 

Knowing all that you know now about life, what advice would you give your younger self? Ok, your father wasn't in your life and the times that he was there he wasn't productive nor helpful. But get to know God as Father and ask Him to teach you how to love yourself. Live a life listening to God because he most certainly wants to hear you and guide you. Men and relationships are a bonus to life but they are NOT LIFE! You must learn to love and treat God and yourself good before you can love and treat someone else good. Don't seek validation in relationships seek validation in your relationship with God. People are human and fickle so don't get emotional when they don't treat you fair. Take them and the issue to God he will handle it, after all vengeance belongs to him. 

Only look back to see how far You've come

I've been two weeks social media free (with the exception of twitter). Logging off every now and then is healthy for me. I get caught up too fast and for all the wrong reasons. Plus, I like to fall off the grid sometimes to collect myself and live on the low. This helps me focus and realign myself with what is important to me or actually get in touch with what should be important. I hate to admit it but I'm one of those people that needs to put themselves on timeout before getting carried away with the glitz and glamour of the internet otherwise I'm drained and overstimulated by way too much and then I begin to compare and contrast my life to all the wonderful people doing amazing things.

Ironically, being removed from social media makes me feel like I'm on an island far away from everything and everybody which was the goal but damn LOL. This purge is different. I've felt unhappy with things lately and although I'm working on that I've felt the need for inspiration. To have an encounter deep enough to shift my emotions toward hope. That shit is so important; to be inspired. I needed that today. I looked on my Twitter timeline and other blogs. I even called my little brother this morning hoping to hear something, anything to make me feel better but that changed nothing. Then out of nowhere( though I know it was God) I thought about some things that took place last year and realized that I've come a long way. Life was basic. This year I'm blogging more consistently. I wrote and self-published my first book. I took my first international trip. I'm a year free from a very abusive relationship I was in. I became more active with establishing my non-profit IMperfect. I'm just in a better space. Not where I want to be but not where I was. I've heard it said that unhappiness can stem from focusing on what you don't have or what you lost verse what you have and what you want to feel. When you focus on whats true, noble, right, pure, love, and admirable, you're generating gratefulness. Gratefulness is a godly vibe baby and when you look towards God, you don't have to look anywhere else.

Today I was seeking inspiration. I looked back over my life and saw God.