Broken Halos

(Dedicated to the pieces of us we try to reclaim from the dead lovers we buried)

I am guilty of holding onto the dead just to feel alive again

Is it crazy that I want your dry bones wrapped around my flesh one more time again?

Reviving a corpse of a lover to call mine again

I watch the moon drop while thinking about you

My nights have been restless since your departure

Losing sleep trying to hold on to our memories

Even though you brought hell to my earth

It’s hard for me to let you rest in peace

And why should I?

I wasn’t perfect but worth the heaven I tried to build with you

The least you could do is get me a new fucking halo

Forgiveness: Reconcile or Release?

"Forgiveness releases stagnant energy from our bodies and naturally cuts the cord existing between two people."- Shina Sanabria

This is a quote from a recent blog post by Shina Sanabria. This particular post was about sexual energy and clearing attachment to past partners -which by the way is an amazing read. I suggest you go check it out - This sentence stood out to me about forgiveness from a general aspect.

I found it especially interesting that she said forgiveness naturally cuts the cord existing between two people.

Most times when it comes to forgiveness we often associate it with acceptance of the offense and continuing the relationship through reconciliation. In other words, giving the person re-entrance into our life. Not realizing how detrimental to our personal growth and well-being that can be. First and foremost forgiveness is a necessity. Some connections are just no good for you at all. Letting go of an offense is significant to your overall health because holding on to resentment, anger and past trauma leads to stress which can have horrible effects such as depression, unhealthy habits, cardiovascular disease, including heart disease, high blood pressure, abnormal heart rhythms, heart attacks, and stroke. And if you have a horrible habit of harboring things like I have then you've already experienced at least two of those conditions.

What's worth that?

Whatever your spiritual foundation, most faiths speak on practicing forgiveness as a part of your  spiritual journey. We're also in the days affirmations like Love & Light, Positive Vibes Only, and Keeping That Same Energy. We spew out growth through proclamations and quote scripture like our favorite 90's R&B hit. Yet it's so much deeper. Forgiveness is an act of love towards others and most importantly love towards ourselves. But it's not to be confused with approval. 

Have you ever been manipulated into believing that you haven't fully forgiven someone because you've decided not to make room for them in your life any longer? I have! What a horrid thing to believe because in all actuality one doesn't have anything to do with the other. You can harbor no ill will towards someone and want nothing at all to do with them at the same time. Being an asshole isn't necessary but you don't have to be a doormat either. Besides, forgiveness may be the only way you can truly walk away from someone. You might still be bound to each other due to that stagnant energy that you're refusing to let go. 

Of course it is truly up to you how you decide to proceed with the people in your life.

Everybody deserves forgiveness but not everybody deserves a seat at the table.

Your vision will either Intimidate or Inspire

Even in my low moments and operating with an unproductive mindset, I always knew there was greatness in me and greater in store for me. And I'm not special, I mean, yes I am but I know that everybody created has greatness buried in them waiting to bare good fruit in their lives. The difference is that not everybody knows this. Most times those of us that believe better is within us are usually surrounded by people that don't see it or do see it but don't care to see us elevate because of their own insecurities thus making it hard to recognize your purpose. Their resentment was like dirt meant to keep our dreams buried but like the saying goes, they didn't know we were seeds. These people are easily identified because they're discouraging. Negative. Sew seeds of doubt and fear. Unsupportive. They see your insecurities and come up with ways to make them worse.

Don't have an opinion because then you talk too much. Don't you demand respect because then you think too highly of yourself. Don't be offend by their treatment towards you because then you have an attitude problem. Don't distant yourself to protect your peace because then your acting funny. And don't you dare follow your dreams because then you think you're better than them. I know this all too well. Sad thing is that this type of hate rarely came from a stranger. Good thing is these people usually dismissed themselves. They can watch you go through hell, mend your wounds by yourself and get mad that you healed and bounced back better than before. If your light is bright are you suppose to shine or dim it down for the miserable? It's not our job to make people comfortable with us. Shine boo!