Life Gems with Melanie Tinsley: You are Love

You are Love

It took years upon years for me to realize what self love was and it took even longer for me to establish self-care. As a young girl I grew up motherless. I never experienced that nurturing love that a mother gives. That is a mothers gift to her daughter. So in turn I was not able to establish self love. I gave away my mind, my body, and most of all my soul to the world as if it was free. It wasn’t until I became an adult somewhere around the age of 30, that I started to establish self-love and self care.

I slowly started to realize that I no longer had to give myself relentlessly to this thing called “the world”. I realized that I was able to keep me all to myself. See this thing called life can leave you lost. It can leave you feeling alone in this place called the world. You become so consumed by the needs and wants of everyone and everything around you that you become swallowed whole.

 

But once you realize that you yourself make up the universe, you begin self love. You begin to realize just how precious life is and how precious your life is. You realize you are that diamond in the rough.  And in that very moment you realize that no one can love you, better than you.

 

I care and love for myself setting aside extra time just for me. Why not. I deserve it. I take longer showers in the morning. I don’t let the morning rush hour rush me. I take mental breaks from the world and everything going on around me by closing my eyes and listening to soothing and calming music. I learned to stop giving and giving because the world will keep taking and taking. I take a little less time with others and put a little bit more time into myself. Most of all I stopped letting other peoples opinions define who I am as a woman. 

-Melanie

Hello Brooklyn!

The sound of Salsa music, horns honking and loud conversations woke me up out of my sleep. The entire week had been fun-filled and this was my first comfortable rest. I looked out of the deep-paned windows and saw the sun beaming off the brick wall on the building across the street. I'm use to quieter Sundays but I had no complaints. It was actually quiet refreshing. This weekend I took a drive to New York to visit my big sister, Nicky, who lives in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. I live in South Jersey so the drive wasn't too bad. My sisters memory foam mattress is the best mattress I've slept on in a long time and considering the fact that I have one rises some questions for me. Like where the hell she got hers from?! Hanging from a rod in front of the windows is her collection of purses. It's a healthy amount. Not like the shameful trunk on the floor of my closet full of purses most of which I don't even wear. The light grey that decorates her walls reminds me of my own room except her's is much more spacious, neater and tranquil. I felt like that little sister that prefers her big sister's things more than her own. And she was such a gracious host. Besides sharing her room and tee shirt, since I forgot something to sleep in( true Krystal fashion) she shared her city with me as well.This wasn't my first time visiting Brooklyn but it was my first time experiencing it.


My first night there we uber'd from Brooklyn to Harlem to eat at Solomon and Kuff, a Caribbean restaurant down by the Hudson River. It was a bit pricy but hey that's New York for you plus the food was ah-ma-zing. I had the ox tails, rice and beans and sweet plantains. You definitely get what you pay for in taste, portion and ambiance. After dinner, we took a stroll by the river where there were children playing, couples enjoying each other, older folks listening to music, young ladies striking their best pose for the camera and of course the smell of loud was ever present. On the way home, she pointed out other places in Harlem she wants to visit with me when I come back and I was excited and bright-eyeded like a true tourist.


Once we got back to her apartment we relaxed for about an hour and than headed out to Bed Stuy to listen to DJ Rich Medina's set featuring Lady Alma at C'mon Everybody. Now, I wasn't familiar with either artist but they tore it down. The whole house music scene is its own culture.

 Lady Alma

Blacks, Whites, Asians, the hip, the nerdy, the polished and the "little ruff around the edges" were all in attendance jamming with one goal in mind. To experience a good vibe; and that it was. Neither one of us are use to hanging out too late anymore so by 2am the only dancing we wanted to do was in our dreams.




In the morning, after we both got ourselves together, we took an uber to Sweet Chick on Bedford Ave to have brunch. There was a 30 minute wait so to kill time we walked around to check out the brownstones in Park Slope. I wanted to scream out "And stay off my stoop" so bad. 🤣 Shout out to Crooklyn.

Back at Sweet Chicks, it looked like a scene out of the HBO series Insecure. The crowd was mostly hip, black millennials and the food was great. I had the shrimp and grits with a grape soda (ode to my blackness LOL) Nicky had the ricotta pancakes with a side of bacon and lemonade. After brunch I headed back home to my baby Jersey but my BK visit with sissy was everything.

I really wish I would have taken more picture because my weekend getaway sparked my new hobby idea. TRAVELING!! Whether its long distant like my recent vacation to the Dominican Republic (blog post coming soon) or a local staycation, I want to travel and see this world.


Stayed tuned!!

Me and Nicky