Love Odyssey

There was a time I envied those free spirited women who effortlessly wore themselves with love and pride. I was never like that and I wondered if I'd ever be like that.
I prayed that someday I'd achieved that level of confidence and grace but it never dawn on me that those women probably fought the worst mental battles.
Cried endless streams of self consciousness.
Kicked themselves over and over for believing in doubt and screamed until the lining of their throats became raw.
We never know what a person goes through just to arrive, yet and still we covet.
I admire these women with their honey like testimonies.
Full of substance, Raw truths and preserved flavors for the soul.
I admire those women who found victory in being vulnerable.
I admire the love of self that came by way of self hate...or...maybe not hate but surly a type of neglect
You remember those women.
You remember their stories and how they resonated and ignited an inspiration through you by way of expression.
I get it now.
You smile different when you smile in honesty.
Happy girls have glow, they say
And you're a liar if you never wanted to shine.
For years, my fear of freedom kept me running from destiny and finding security amongst the spectators and others too afraid to embrace who they are.
Funny thing about that is now I hate crowds.
I have a lot of letting go to do so Gods will can bloom throughout my life
I'm no where near the woman dreamt of as a little girl, who wears the opinions of others like loose garments
But I'm also no longer afraid to be seen

Same Ole Song

Same Ole Song by Krystal Schley

 
He has $23 dollars to his name

6 of em are in change

Consumed by haze and the drink

He drowns his sorrows in to ease the pain

its a shame being afraid of your own growth

when the thought of a happily ever after damn near makes you choke

but there’s no fairy godmother to rewind the clock

no bright eyed princess to make the loneliness stop

and your only knight in shining armor is Johnny walker

His concept of change seems foreign

and the future to him, more dark than bright

but as for tonight

He'll recall his heydays on his YouTube playlist

Wishing it were him

Brave enough to sing again

Brave enough to be seen again

Church Vs. State(of mind)

I was a little leery to write about mental wellness because it's such to delicate topic but in light of recent tragedies and the fact that I literally stumbled upon this article that pretty much had me screaming at my computer while at work, I knew it was time. Today I posted the following on Instagram about the importance of getting help for your mental wellbeing.

Sydnei Jarman, Editor in Chief of Her Modern Life, not only pulled the sheets off of the "pray it away" theory but also incorporated practical steps towards getting the help that is needed. There are so many people that don't get help out of fear of being labeled "crazy" so they suffer in silence. Then there are people who do seek help but get frustrated and hopeless because what looked like healing for others didn't work for them.

I had the most darkest and difficult time dealing with my depression while I was in church. Not at all because I didn't have enough faith in Christ to bring me healing, but because by the time I could no longer be cute and mute about the war happening inside of me, I was spooked into thinking I was demon-filled instead of a girl who was neglecting the wellness of her mind. Contrary of how I was made to feel, I fell in love with Christ in that moment of my life because I grew to know Him personally. While dealing with extreme anxiety and depression, I came upon my favorite verse that still chokes me up to this day.

"Who [faithfully] remembered us in our lowly condition,

For His loving-kindness endures forever"- Psalm 136:23

I do believe this verse hand in hand with professional help saved me. Note that I mentioned           pro-fes-sional help but if you it eases your spirit to keep things in a biblical sense, take the following into consideration. The apostle Luke was a doctor and referenced as such. Yes, God can be your healer and lawyer, etc but He also has granted people the wisdom to be experts of that field in this natural world.

On the other hand, as far a diagnoses is considered and this is truly my personally opinion, I do believe that we are quick to diagnosis people as manic depressive or bipolar because they display signs of sadness or irrational ways of coping. Sometimes folk are just sad or bothered about a situations and need healthy strategies on getting to the root of their problem and changing their way of thinking. Of course that's not everybody but a diagnoses of mental illness isn't for everyone either and I can really go on and on about how convenient it is for other races to be label as mentally ill after they shoot up schools and churches but African Americans are killed on site if not immediately thrown in jail...but that's for a different post.

All in all, seeking help is one of the most bravest and strongest things one can ever do for themselves. Its more important for the masses (church are carnal) to be slow to judge and quick to heal.

Thoro Gem Thursday: Jessica Jenkins

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord should be praised.
                                                                                                                                Proverbs 31:30






I love bragging about all the beautiful things that women are doing around me and in the world but it's an honor when I'm talking about someone that I personally know, admire and love.
My good, good sister-fran Jessica Jenkins moved from Philadelphia to Tennessee with plans to further her education. Through hard work, perseverance and faith that all things are working together for her good, I'm am beyond proud to announce that on Saturday, May 12th my girl will be graduating with her Master's of Divinity from Central Baptist Theological Seminary. And Lord willing, she will later become a Chaplain for hospice care.


I was excited to hear about her move when she decided to go to seminary. Since we first met back in 2013 through Pinky Promise (an organization started by Heather Lindsay) she's always been someone that I can reach out to for anything. Sis will pray for me, fast with me. So in my opinion this move was perfect for her. But I know it wasn't always easy being away from your support system while the stressors of life take no brakes but she found victory over it all trough her faith in God's plan.


Like I said earlier in the post, Jessica is more than my friend she's been like a sister. My worries, stories and secrets are safe with her. I even use to send her excerpts of my book while I was still writing it just to get her insight so you knooooow I trust her.




A writer, A worshiper, a beautiful vessel, Jessica you truly are a thoro gem.

Beauty for Ashes

I performed this poem in May of 2015. I actually wrote the poem months before I performed it and while writing it had no intentions on ever performing it.

My writing has always been therapeutic for me and somewhat of a healing mechanism. 

I think one of the most beautiful and terrifying things is being transparent about what you been through but knowing that you're never going back.