Step One: Admittance

There was a time where I envied those free-spirited women who effortlessly wore themselves with love and pride.

I was never like that.

I wondered if I would ever be like that.

I use to pray that one day I would have their level of confidence and grace but it never dawned on me that they probably fought the worst mental battles

Cried endless streams of self-consciousness. Kick themselves over and over for constantly submitting to doubt and screamed until the lining of their throats became raw
We never know what a person goes through just to arrive, yet we still covet
I admire those women with their honey like testimonies

Full of substance, raw truths

and preserved flavor for the souls fullness
I admire those women who found victory in being vulnerable
You remember those women

You remember their stories and how they resonated and ignited inspiration by way of their expression
I admire the love that came by way of self-hate
Or maybe not hate but surely neglect
I believe I understand now.

I know how it feels to become numb from being over stimulated with a lot of "too much"
When my instincts knew the truth but my heart loved anyway.

Forgave anyway.

Stayed anyway.
Ironically, fear kept me running away from freedom by being stagnant in dysfunction
God and I have a lot of work to do.

I'm nowhere near the woman who wears the opinions of others like loose garments
But I'm no longer afraid to be seen.

Step One